The Sandwich Generation: Balancing End-of-Life Planning for Yourself and Your Parents
As part of the sandwich generation, you may be juggling the dual responsibilities of caring for your aging parents or other relatives while in midst of dealing with carpool for your children, after school activities, managing your own career and relationships. You only have so many hours in the day, days in a week, or patience in being pulled in different directions. This can feel unmanageable (physically, emotionally and financially), exhausting and like you want to give up and hibernate under a gravity blanket. Planning for the future —both for yourself and in alignment with your parents—can bring clarity and ease some of the burden so you can get back to enjoying being present with both generations.
Understanding the Sandwich Generation
The sandwich generation refers to adults, typically in their 30s to 50s, who are caring for their own children and their aging parents. Nearly 47% of adults in this age group face these challenges. It’s like being the peanut butter holding two slices of bread together—necessary but sticky and messy.
Why Planning is Essential
Reduced Stress: Knowing that plans are in place can take a load off your shoulders.
Clarity and Control: Clear directives ensure everyone’s wishes are respected, reducing the chance of family disputes.
Financial Security: Proper planning can safeguard your financial future and that of your parents.
Overcoming the Overwhelm
Feeling overwhelmed is a common experience. Here are ways to ease this burden:
Prioritize Self-Care: Remember, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.
Delegate Responsibilities: Ask for help from family members or hire professional caregivers. Superheroes always have sidekicks.
Start Small: Begin with basic steps and gradually tackle more complex aspects of planning.
Getting on the Same Page with Your Parents
Aligning your end-of-life plans with your parents' wishes is crucial:
Open Communication: Schedule a dedicated time to discuss end-of-life wishes with your parents.
Create a Shared Plan: Develop a plan together that includes medical directives, wills, and power of attorney documents.
Document Everything: Ensure all plans are documented and easily accessible to all relevant parties.
Quick Steps to Begin Planning
Here are actionable steps to help you get started:
Step 1: Write down your own end-of-life wishes, including medical preferences and financial directives.
Step 2: Have an open and honest conversation with your parents about their wishes and document them.
Step 3: Consult with an end-of-life planner or attorney to formalize these plans and ensure they are legally sound.
Balancing the needs of your children and aging parents can be overwhelming. Ask for help and contact eldercare professionals who may be a lifesaver in figuring out practical and financial tools to give you some of your sanity back. Being proactive may seem like extra work now, but I promise it will pay dividends. It’s like setting up a family road trip—plan ahead, and the journey will be much smoother.